


Veil

by girlwhowritesbad9



Category: GOT7
Genre: Emotions, IM SO EMO, M/M, and very emotional, not edited, soft, this is very soft, this just happened i am sorry, very slight sexual content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-31
Updated: 2018-01-31
Packaged: 2019-03-11 22:48:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13534155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/girlwhowritesbad9/pseuds/girlwhowritesbad9
Summary: What if you could see yourself in an alternative universe through a window your apartment? Jaebum and Jaebum were now facing each other from two sides of the window, from two different worlds.





	Veil

**Author's Note:**

> Listen, I don't know how this happened but it did. I just wrote it within twenty-four hours and uploaded it. Tell me what you think. Excuse any grammatical errors. My editing skills are a joke just like my life.

Jaebum moved all the unopened boxes to one room, which was supposedly his soon to be study room, hoping for them to stop being an eyesore for the moment. Jackson had offered to help the elder move into this new apartment but he wanted to stop relying on others for everything. It just made him lazier.

He opened up a bottle of cream soda and flopped down on the cushions on the floor. He was trying his best to enjoy the sitcom because he finally had a day of rest but he couldn’t stop fidgeting. He should be out drinking with his friends but he missed the scent of medication and iodoform.

He had recently moved to a new apartment in order to gain more time to relax. He was a serious nurse at the “SMH Hospital”. He was aware of the irony of the name but he wasn’t going to complain about it. His usual shifts were during evenings to early hours of the mornings. 

He was trying his best to maintain the strength of a twenty-seven-year-old man but it was hard to resist the urge to cut off all human communications and sleep for an eternity before it was time to go back to work. He also should be grocery shopping but the cushions were just too tempting.

When he had woken up from his nap, around five in the morning from eleven at night, he was once again hit with the disappointment of responsibilities. He groaned as he forced himself up to his feet and staggered to the bathroom. After a brisk shower, he had his will to live back.

His breakfast included of fresh milk and a new packet of fruit loops. He munched in silence, something he was very fond of. The silence was rather loud if you asked him. Nothing was ever silent. It was never nothing. Even if one were completely blind, there would be sounds to hear, there would be the sight to see for the deaf, and there would be the sight and sounds for those who dumb.

If you closed your eyes, you could hear the sound of the clock ticking, the engine of the fridge, the cracklings of the radiators and the gushing of water pipes inside the walls. Jaebum could hear himself munch the cereal along with the sound of his kettle heating the water.

He turned on some LoFi music as he washed the dishes. He dried them with a towel once they were squeaky clean. The bathroom was yet to be organized so he took the opportunity before freshening up to clean everything.

The bathroom was freshly tiled, there was no sign of dirt between the gaps. It was normal considering the apartment complex was freshly built. It was cheap considering its lavish facilities. He placed all the objects neatly even though they would be found in the kitchen in a few days.

It wasn’t that he was hasty, it’s just he often became too stressed about work to remember to put their back where they belonged. He was currently working in the “Special Care” department. Most of the patients were suffering from physical trauma; some due to accidents and some done on purpose by others.

His ward consisted of ten patients; six females and four males. Most of them were in their twenties. Only Mrs. Suzuki and Mr. Choi were in their fifties. They had been in a severe accident on the same day but on two different occasions. 

“Hello?” Jaebum heard someone call out. It was coming from his study room. He closed the cabinet of his room and walked past the living room, wondering if he had been hallucinating. “I’m telling you, there is nothing there. All I can see is just Umaru’s window.” Another voice replied. Both of the voices were extremely familiar but he could put his finger on them.

Soon a bickering had started between the two people. There was a locked closet fixed to the wall and the voice seemed to be coming from there. He hesitantly stood in front of it, wondering if it was connected to his neighbors but on the other side of the wall was the open sky. He had the keys in his bunch but he couldn’t dare to open it.

When he did, finally mustering the courage to figure out what was occurring, he was faced with a window with closed dark black curtains. There was a hue of light coming from the other side but it was being eaten by the thickness of the curtain. He stepped into the closet and lingered his fingers on the curtain. 

He took a few steps back in astonishment as on the other side of the window was a room just like his own. It was furnished in the exact same way with the exact same color scheme. That wouldn’t have gotten him speechless but what was shocking was that on the other side, was standing a man who looked exactly as he did. 

They had the same hair, glasses, skin, eyes, lips and even the same earrings. The two differences were the way were dressed and the company standing next to Jaebum on the other side. They both stared at each other with wide eyes and mouth hung open.

“Jinyoung, do you see what I see?” Jaebum on the other side asked.

“Jaebum, you’re scaring me. I don’t see anything but Umaru’s window. What do you see?” His company replied with a concerned tone. His hands were wrapped around Jaebum’s arm.

“You can see me? How can you see and hear me? What is this place?” The nurse asked fluttering his eyes. 

Jaebum on the other side took a deep breath. He rubbed his eyes and opened them again. When the nurse was still in sight, he asked Jinyoung to excuse him. He closed the door of the room and tried to shove his hand on the other side with great force. Just like his attempts before, that is how Jinyoung was found out, he couldn’t reach the other side.

“What the fuck?” They both expressed at the same time.

“You’re me.”

“I’m you.”

“We’re us.”

They both stood confused scratching their heads. Jinyoung was knocking on the door again and it was time for the other Jinyoung to leave. “I’ll be back later at night at eleven, since Jinyoung will be asleep. Come back then, we have a lot to discuss.” With that, the stranger who looked exactly like the nurse had dashed out.

Jaebum closed the closet door and returned to his living room. He sat on the couch staring at the wall for two hours. He took a long shower and ate a full course Chinese meal for lunch.

“What the fuck?” Was all he could say before going back to sleep. 

 

 

********************

“He’s acting really weird I swear.” Jinyoung whispered to his best friend. Jaebum had gone to refill his drink, since unlimited refills where was free for the day. They had promised to meet Jackson and his fiancé for a lunch date. “I don’t know, he’s always been weird to me.” Jackson replied munching on his organic salad.

“Yes I know I married to a weirdo but he’s been especially weird today. He kept on asking what was on the other side of the window.” Jinyoung informed, looking concerned yet again.

“Maybe he was being metaphorical, he’s weird like that, you know.” Feng Mian, Jackson’s fiancé, and Jaebum’s old university mate replied. She was a Chinese transfer and since Jaebum was the only other dead inside existential person in the class, they had ended up bonding.

“I know what kind of weird he is, he legit looked like he had seen the devil and the god on the other side—.” Jinyoung paused his sentenced as Jaebum returned to the table with two extra refills. 

“What? They’re free!” Jaebum replied as an attempt of self-defense when Jinyoung threw him menacing glares. The other rolled his eyes and went back to his sandwich. 

Jaebum was trying his best to concentrate on the conversation that was happening. Jackson was talking about his fencing team, Feng was talking about Jackson stressing too much and Jinyoung was giving them the advice of the married life.

He was listening to them all but he couldn’t concentrate on a single word. They were all going beyond his comprehension. He finally gave out a long sigh and everyone’s attention was soon on him.

“You’ve been acting weird since morning.” Jinyoung said.

“He’s been weird since he was born but I have to agree.” Jackson agreed and Feng nodded his head in agreement. 

“Listen none of you are going to believe me anyway so what’s the point?” Jaebum replied.

“What that you saw the devil and god on the other side of the window?” Jackson replied with a scoff.

“That’d be much more rational to what I was seeing. Either way, I like to think I was hallucinating so it’s fine. Mark probably gave me something weird to drink again.” Jaebum lied. He was very well aware of what he had seen but he had no explanation for it. He loathed being misunderstood so he decided it was the best to lie. 

“Let’s just stop it here and go back to lunch. Mark needs to stop experimenting on you with his drinks.” Feng complained rolling her eyes.

Mark worked as a bartender in a club along with Yugyeom. They were both extremely good looking; as good as they were with their taste in music and alcohol. Jackson, Jinyoung, Yugyeom, Mark, Bambam, and Youngjae along Jaebum were exchange students at an American university. They had formed a little circle consisting of foreigners, Feng being one of them who had returned to Seoul along with the other seven.

As they chattered about Jinyoung’s new position as the CEO, Jaebum couldn’t help but wonder if there was a Jaebum on the other side, if there was a Jinyoung as well; and whether if they knew each other. He wondered what a world was, where Jaebum and Jinyoung were unaware of their existence.

It was truly frightening. 

 

 

********************

“Are you okay?” Mark asked as he placed his disposable cup under the faucet. Jaebum wanted to roll his eyes but whether he liked it or not, Jaebum was his senior at work and in real life. The American-Korean citizen being one year older, he had no option but to reply to all of his questions; due to his own strict rule of maintaining the age difference rule.

“I am fine, why?” Jaebum replied. “You seem to be very zoned out. Did something happen at home?” Mark questioned as his lips lingered on the rim of his water cup. “Not really, my home is basically silence and myself. I just moved to a new apartment so I am still getting used to the new environment.” the senior nurse replied. He fixed his uniform one last time and handed Mark his white lab coat. “Now, let’s back to work, doctor.” he added.

Mark complained about how Jaebum was barely ever doing anything “entertaining” or anything “enthusiastic” but according to the man, he was doing plenty of fun stuff, such as buying grocery and cleaning the sofa. 

They entered the ward together and was handed all the checkup reports by a female nurse. Jaebum skimmed through them and highlighted areas which needed the doctor’s concern and passed it to the elder. Mark even though being very young, he was gifted with the ability to save lives. They had been friends since high school along with Jackson but they had all gone their separate ways when it was time to choose their career.

 

“Add a dose of that to Mr. Jinyoung’s daily routine.” Mark informed as he tapped his pen on the medicine bottle. Jaebum nodded and wrote it down in his memo. There were three nurses who were taking care of the patients along with Jaebum. Kim Yugyeom, Kunpimook Bhuwakul also known as Bambam and Lee Jooheon.

Jaebum being the senior nurse was assigned to the patients who needed special care; that person in this ward being, Park Jinyoung.

Park Jinyoung belonged to a family consisting of six people; his parents and three sisters. On a winter night, they were headed to a resort in Jeju Island when their bus had lost its balance trying to save a drunkard driving his motorcycle. The only survivors were Park Jinyoung and Mr. Choi, everyone else had been found dead.

It was a fortunate story for those who had died along with their families.

Surviving without anyone to take care of them, surviving without anyone waiting for them outside the hospital ward was indeed painful and frightening.

Park Jinyoung had been in a coma ever since he was twenty-one. He was currently twenty-eight; it hadn’t been more than a year when he had returned to his conscious. Unfortunately, the only way he could feel conscious was through his eyes. He had become permanently blind due to permanent damage to his nerves.

“Jaebum-sshi?” He called out once he heard footsteps nearing his bed. His eyes open and he was blinking much faster to process the sound.

“Yes, it’s time. How can you tell each time? I always come at different times.” Jaebum replied with a fond smile curving on lips, without any known reason. It made him happy that Jinyoung was able to recognize him.

“You have your own different way of walking just like everyone else does. You didn’t come yesterday, is everything okay?” the patient asked.

“Everything is just fine, I just moved to a new apartment closer to the hospital. I was a little busy trying to organize it.” 

“Oh! Are you still living alone or did you move in with your lover?”

“What is a lover for someone like me?” Jaebum scoffed. “Can you open your eyes wide for me and then your mouth?” he added.

Jinyoung remained quiet as the senior nurse ran his inspections on the patient. Jinyoung had informed Jaebum about Yugyeom’s attempt to entertain the patients with his dancing skills after midnight. Even though he couldn’t see, he had assured Jaebum that he could feel that it was amazing. He wanted to tap dance for Jinyoung but the patient had turned it down before he was fired from his job.

“Are you leaving?” Jinyoung asked once he had swallowed his pills for a certain period of time.

“I will be back soon after dinner, don’t skip anything okay? Not even the carrots.” Jaebum joked as he ruffled the other’s hair. Jinyoung snickered in reply and bid goodbye, “See you.”

Jaebum didn’t know why those words were extremely painful when it came from Jinyoung.

 

********************

 

Jinyoung had his head resting on Jaebum’s shoulder. It was almost eleven when Jinyoung had finally dozed off to sleep. They had been watching a movie which Jaebum had picked. He made sure that he had found out the most irrelevant plot with the worst casting which would bore Jinyoung to sleep. Thankfully, it had gone according to plan. 

He lightly shook the elder and took him to their bed. “I’ll go do some work in my study room, okay? Be right back, good night.” he kissed his husband on the forehead before closing the door lightly. He had made sure he had locked the door of the study room once he had entered it. He opened the curtains and stood in front of it, taking deep breaths.

The curtains from both sides were opened at the same time which had astounded the two.

“We need to stop being shocked each time we do this.” The nurse said as he clutched his chest.

“I agree.” The other Jaebum agreed, also clutching his chest. 

They both gathered their composure and stood in front of their windows. They shared basic information each other before starting to understand what was happening. One Jaebum was a music producer whilst the other was a senior nurse. Neither of them had siblings and when they had exchanged names of their friends, they were once again shocked even though as said, they were basically the same people.

“But we live very different lives, don’t we?” The producer asked.

“That is true; I can’t imagine being a music producer.”

“I can’t imagine being a nurse or single in their late twenties. How are you single?”

“I’ve never really been in love, you know what numb feeling where everything is nothing but nothing is everything? Wait, maybe you never went through that.” the nurse replied.

“No I am still in it but like, with someone else to feel it with me. The economy is shit and medicines have taxes on them. What even is okay, at this point?”

“Aha, so we are the same person.” 

“So, why did you decide to be a nurse?”

“Why did you decide to be a Producer?”

“Is this how annoying I am?”

“I think so. This is very annoying.”

They both burst out in laughter becoming coming to a neutral term. It was still very peculiar to be talking to someone who was living with the personality and face but somewhere which was not their own world. Everything was very confusing but they were able to get their words to each other.

Jaebum explained how when he was very younger, he had witness someone’s wound being dressed. It was very “gross” according to his memory and he wanted to conquer the disgust which he was feeling. He wanted to feel the sensation of a hero as he saved someone from having a rotten leg which needed to be chopped off. So once he had finished high school, he had joined his diploma course to become a nurse.

Soon enough due to his skills and dedication, he had become a senior nurse at SMH Hospital.

Jaebum on the other hand from the other side, was fascinated by the way strings on a guitar moved. When he was very young his mother had taken him to a live musical. He was amazed how the hall full of people who only knew each other for such a brief period of time, they could harmonize their instruments as if they all belonged to the same soul. Ever since he couldn’t stop watching musicals and learning about instruments.

Before he had realized, he was a university major in music, creating new music for the current generation.

Two hours later, they had found someone knocking on the producer’s door. He knew he was going to be murdered by his husband so he closed the curtain after bidding goodbye to the nurse. He scribbled papers everywhere and placed a pen behind his ear. The nurse could hear him being scolded for working past midnight. He heard Jinyoung drag the producer back to bed shutting the door loudly behind them.

For some reason, Jaebum found himself heading back to the hospital from that.

“Oh! Why are you here? I thought you weren’t feeling well?” Yugyeom asked as he looked up from his computer screen. Jaebum swore he had seen the other playing games with Jungkook. He decided to let it pass for the night. “I came back since I was feeling better. You can go back home now. Jooheon and I will handle things around.” Jaebum informed the younger.

It was rejected because “might as well as stay here if I have only three hours of shit left” was an appropriate reason to play video games with the hospital computer. Jaebum sighed before leaving the desk to check up on the others. Mr. Choi was sleeping as soundly as well whilst he could see Mrs. Sunmi moving her toes. She was almost asleep but seemed to be anxious about something.

He decided not to wake up her up in case she lost the sleepiness she had gained so far. He allowed Jooheon to check up on Miss. Feii and Mr. Jeon. He made sure his steps were quiet when he was approaching Jinyoung’s bed. He quietly retrieved the stool next to his bed and sat on it. It was time for his medication in three hours but he hated to wake up the other.  
“I thought you weren’t feeling well, Jaebum-sshi” Jinyoung suddenly said. Jaebum had fallen from the stool from a surprise as he was sure that the patient had fallen asleep. Thankfully he had grabbed the bed on time. “I am better now so I decided to come back to work.” the nurse replied, trying to calm his heartbeat as soon as possible.

“I thought you’d say you missed me.” Jinyoung informed with a chuckle. He tried to sit up with his back rested on the pillow but Jaebum made sure he was helping the other before he could even get up. After years of taking care of Jinyoung, even without any means of commutation, he somehow had learned to read his head and mind. 

“I do miss you. I miss everyone when I am not around.” Jaebum replied, almost being thankful that Jinyoung could see the red flush on his face. “Jaebum-sshi, I think you need to get yourself a cat if not a lover. This ward has become your life rather than being a part of your life.” Jinyoung replied whispering his words whilst he snickered. It was amazing how beautiful Jinyoung sounded no matter how he was speaking.

“I think I am fine, with this, like this.” Jaebum replied.

“Do you have a family?” Jinyoung asked.

“I do but they don’t like in the city. They moved back to their hometown to live their lives without noise and air pollution.”

“How come for someone who is as handsome as you, doesn’t get asked out often? I’m surprised some grandma from somewhere hasn’t kidnapped you and gotten you married to their grandchild.” 

“I do get asked out!” Jaebum defended himself. It wasn’t completely a lie but he only attracted mothers who were already married, “Well, for now, I have my own grandma trying to convince me to marry her friend’s granddaughter.”

“Well? Will you?” Jinyoung asked without emotion emitting from his tone.

“Nah, I am good here. I have a whole family here. I don’t really have the stability to live a married life.” 

“Do you ever get lonely, all by yourself?”

“I don’t think I do.” Jaebum replied but he doesn’t add, “Not since I have you. I come to see you whenever it hurts.”

“I don’t either, not when you’re around” Jinyoung replied lastly before falling back to sleep.

“Good Night, Jinyoung.”

 

 

***********************  
A month had passed since the first time they had discovered the window. They would often sit down and talk about their days and how they had reached where they were. It was like writing a journal but to the same person from an alternative universe. Hence, they had managed to come to the conclusion that they were currently part of two different dimensions and the window was their portal.

“Man, you work sounds tough. You look like you haven’t seen light in days.” the nurse informed.

“I haven’t had human interaction in a week and I am not sure if I am hallucinating you or not.”

“You are, I am a part of your imagination.”

“Fuck you. Being a nurse sounds harder, I can’t imagine having someone’s life under my control.”

“Nah, it’s the job for the doctor. We’re just helping hands.”

“What is a doctor without them?”

“Well, I’ll agree to that” the nurse agreed with a scoff.

He continued to complain about Mark until the producer had begun to complain about a producer named Yoongi who was supposedly a vampire. They hadn’t caught up in the past few days due to work. The nurse was busy making sure everything was taken care of, since Bambam and Yugyeom had gone on a five-day vacation at the same time. Whilst the producer had reached his deadline; soon there would be people from the label banging on his door for the track.

They both sighed at their misery.

“Hey, I never asked.” The producer began.

“What is it?” 

“About Jinyoung, I keep on forgetting. Is there a Jinyoung in that universe? Do you know him?”

“How would I know whether a Jinyoung existed in this world if I didn’t know him?”

“You’re really annoying.” the producer glared.

“I am literally you.” the nurse scoffed. “But he does exist but he isn’t the same as your Jinyoung. He’s very different with a very different life.” when the nurse had finished his sentence. The producer had begged him to continue and tell him what his story is. It didn’t take more than ten minutes before he had regretted his own decision. He had tears rolling down his cheeks and he had to choke back the hiccups which were arising.

The nurse apologized as it was all he could offer.

“Do you like him?” the producer asked wiping his tears.

“Yeah, he’s a very interesting and kind person.”

“No, oh my god, is this how stupid I was? I meant do you “like” like him? Also since when is Jinyoung "kind"? I really want to meet this Jinyoung.” the producer rolled his eyes.

The nurse found himself deep in thought at the question. He had never really seen it in that way. Jinyoung was just his age when they had brought him in. He had scars all over his face and his limbs were like a deflated balloon. At first he had frozen at the sight and he wanted to quit his job so that he could cry in the closet of the hospital. 

But that wasn’t why he had become a nurse. He had become one to conquer all those fears and use his life to serve those in need of his help. Once Jinyoung had higher chances of living and all his wounds were cleaned with no glass shards left in his body, Jaebum had cried himself to sleep that night.

“I don’t know. He’s the first patient I’ve ever had and I’ve been taking care of him for years. I don’t know what kind of attachment I have for him.” the nurse replied quietly. The producer nodded in agreement. “I understand. It’s normal. It’s an alternative universe, after all, not everything needs to be the same. We’re the same person living life in two different perspectives.” he assured.

*************************

“Good morning.” Jinyoung greeted with a smile as Jaebum approached his bed. “Good morning, slept well?” the nurse asked. Jinyoung hummed in agreement as Jaebum continued to help him with his morning duties before breakfast. They tried their best to make sure the patients had enough physical activities and human interaction. Jinyoung had friends from another ward waiting for him at the cafeteria for breakfast. 

“I don’t feel like going today.” Jinyoung suddenly informed. 

“Is everything alright? Does it hurt anywhere?” Jaebum asked becoming anxious as he ran his eyes up and down the other’s body. “No I am fine, the weather is really nice, so can we go out for a walk in the yard?” Jinyoung requested. Of course, Jaebum was not going to reject it. He brought Jinyoung a sandwich and fresh orange juice before heading out together to the yard.

Jaebum opened the wrapper of the sandwich as they sat down on a bench. Jinyoung thanked the nursed before taking it from the other. The patient complimented the air and lack of humidity. He tried guessing the flowers in the garden by their scent. He had been mostly correct too which had not failed to surprise Jaebum. Once he had eaten his sandwich, Jaebum passed the other his orange juice. Breakfast was complete and they only wait a few minutes before they could walk around.

As Jinyoung waited, Jaebum threw away the wrapper and disposable glass of the juice. “Can I hold your hand as I walk? I don’t feel like using the stick today.” Jinyoung requested. “If that’s okay with you; of course, why not?” Jaebum replied and with that Jinyoung smiled wide. He extended his hands in the air at the direction of the nurse’s voice. He grabbed the other’s hand tightly and stood up on his feet.

“Thank you.” the patient said as they began to walk.

“No need, I am just doing my job.” the nurse replied.

Jinyoung remained quiet as they slowly walked around the yard. Jaebum informed him about pebbles of stones on the group so that the other wouldn’t trip. Each time the nurse informed him about anything Jinyoung couldn’t help but laugh. Jaebum had a blush rising to his face, it was unnecessary since Jinyoung was used to walking on his own but his instincts were screaming for him to hold the patient’s hand tighter.

“Say, if you weren’t a nurse here, and I asked you to hold my hand as we walked, would you?” Jinyoung asked. Jaebum’s palm had started to sweat at the question as he began to panic. No words were professional yet soft enough to be of those who cared deeply. He didn’t even know what his relationship with Jinyoung was. Yet he couldn’t fathom not seeing Jinyoung every day for the rest of his life.

“I would.” Jaebum replied.

“Thank you.” Jinyoung said once again, smiling wide as his eyes crinkled and the apple of his cheeks rose.

 

*********************

 

The nurse was slightly late, well very late, than his promised time to the producer. He had hoped that the other left and wasn’t waiting for him. He was held back at the hospital fulfilling some paperwork and then he had to wait for Yugyeom to return to his shift. He didn’t even have the time to scold the younger before dashing out.

He opened the closet door and stood in front of the window. Just when he was about to open them, he heard a loud moan from the other side. It didn’t belong to Jaebum but he knew the voice oh so well. It belonged to none other than Park Jinyoung from the alternative universe. He had pretty much gotten the idea of what was occurring on the other side yet he was too curious to not peek. 

He opened his eyes wide in shock when he found that the window that day was not showing the study room but their bedroom.

Jinyoung was sat on top of Jaebum’s lap as the producer placed kisses on his neck. Their lips were connecting and parting as they made their way out of their clothing articles. Jaebum cherished the other as if he was fragile. He kissed his chest, stomach, and thighs before using his fingers. Jinyoung had his palm fisting the producer’s hair and occasionally the bed sheet.

The nurse had never thought that he would be coming across such a sight of Jinyoung in his lifetime but he couldn’t tear his eyes away from the sight.

As Jaebum made love to the other, the nurse felt uncertainty in his chest. He wasn’t jealous, he wasn’t upset but rather, he was melancholy. The Jinyoung on the other side had the opportunity to wrap his legs around Jaebum’s waist and the produce could see the way the way his face flushed under the dim light of the lamp.

He wondered what it would be like to touch his Jinyoung; hold Jinyoung in his arms as if he was fragile.

Not because he was fragile but because the nurse was afraid of hurting him.

 

 

***********************

It had been a while since they had interacted. The nurse couldn’t bring himself to speak to the other due to the guilt as he had witnessed something he shouldn’t have. He had invaded their privacy without permission. The producer’s husband had asked him very often what he was doing inside the room without any need but he couldn’t really reply that he was waiting for another version of him from an alternative universe.

When the nurse had finally shown himself, the producer had scolded him. It was peculiar to be scolded by a face and voice which belonged to him.

Then again, this whole agenda was a peculiar mystery.

“What are you hiding?” the producer asked.

“Nothing, I am just tired.” the nurse replied averting the other’s eyes once again.

“Dude, I am literally you. I know when you’re lying. You’re me.” 

“Nothing, really, just tired.”

The producer ignored the topic for the moment and returned to ask how Jinyoung from the nurse’s world was doing. When Jaebum had confessed the conflict which had aroused in his heart about his true emotions towards the patient, the producer smiled wide. He gave him air pats and promised that he would have all of it figured out soon enough.

“So, what are you hiding?” the producer asked. The nurse finally rolled his eyes and groaned in annoyance.

“I saw something I shouldn’t have.”

“Did you peek into one of your patients changing clothes?”

“Fuck you, shut up before I punch you.” the nurse glared.

“Try and reach me nurse boy.”

Jaebum sighed when he realized that he was literally arguing with himself and there would be a comeback for every word he said. After a few moments of silence, the nurse finally confessed what had occurred a couple of nights ago. He confessed that he had invaded their privacy and the reason why he couldn’t tear his eyes apart. 

“Don’t sweat it, why were you even worried? You’re me anyway. Jinyoung would kill you though, but you don’t exist to him.” the producer laughed.

“It’s nice seeing how strong and independent he is.”

“Is the Jinyoung in this world nice?” the producer asked astounded, almost to the point where his eyeballs almost fell out from his eye sockets

“No, he is the killer type and a sharp tongue but you know, he’s really dependent on others. That stops him from showing his true side. I love him the way he is but I also would love to see him throwing punches one of these days.”

Jaebum remained quiet as the producer smiled wide at him whilst wiggling his eyebrows. After asking “What?” a couple of times, he had finally realized the words which he had said earlier. He had used the word “love” for his emotions towards Jinyoung. Love could be used to mean various emotions, platonic, romantic or even lust.

He just loved Jinyoung is all he knew for now.

“There you go, it happened sooner than I expected. Do you need some time to think about things?” 

“Yes, that’d be nice.” the nurse replied nodding.

Jaebum wished the nurse good luck and closed the curtains. Jaebum returned to his bed with the curtains of his room’s window open. The moonlight illuminated the room. It was too bright for the nurse to sleep under it but he didn’t want to draw the curtains. The moon was too beautiful to be for the light to be blocked by a thick cloth.

It deserved to show off its beautiful hue to the whole world.

 

  
************************

“Mr. Choi, please listen to your grandson.” Mark sighed. The man was far too persistent for anyone to be able to convince him that he had become lactose intolerant. Choi Youngjae, his eldest grandchild was currently was being scolded for not buying him any pudding on his visit. “You have to understand that your grandson just wants what’s best for you.” he added when the man had begun to complain further.

Youngjae sighed once again as his grandfather told him not to come back without pudding.

“What do I do, doctor?” he asked with hints of hopelessness.

“Well, how good are you with cooking?” Mark asked.

“I can only do what is needed to survive.” the younger replied.

“Since he is so persistent, we have no other option but to make him one. I have a pudding recipe for lactose intolerant people, would you like to make it together?” the doctor suggested scratching the back of his head. Youngjae looked up at him with eyes of shock. He was well aware of the hints which the doctor had given him but he just wanted to make sure he had heard the words correct. “I mean I don’t mind lending a hand. It’s okay if you want to make it yourself, I can send you the recipe.” the doctor instantly added with a blush rising on the apple of his cheeks.

Youngjae was now flushed from his cheeks to his neck. “Tomorrow is fine, if you’re okay. You can text me the time.” he said before dashing away from the ward. Mark stood with his mouth wide open as he stared at the flinging door of the ward. Yugyeom and Jaebum whistled at his achievement whilst Jinyoung clapped along with Jooheon.

“Did you see that? I did that. I asked him out and got accepted.” Mark informed proudly. Jaebum was standing next to him as he measured Jinyoung’s blood pressure. “I can’t see that Mark hyung.” Jinyoung replied and Jaebum couldn’t stop himself from bursting out in giggles. Mark made a face of guilt as he removed the measuring tool. “But I am very proud of you. I can’t believe you finally made a move. Don’t scare him off now.” he added with a grin.

“I will bet ten dollars that he will hate you after tomorrow.” Jaebum said confidently. 

“I will bet eleven.” Yugyeom added.

“Do you even have his number?” Bambam asked. Mark fluttered his eyes before a scowl appeared on his forehead. He ran outside the ward hoping that Youngjae hadn’t gone too far. 

“He does know that he could just ask the reception right?” Bambam whispered to Yugyeom.

“Where is the fun in that? Let him run for a while.” Jinyoung said with a proud grin on his face. Jaebum grinned back even though the other couldn’t see. He couldn’t stop himself from doing such small gestures. He didn’t know why he did them whilst being aware but he hated the idea of treating Jinyoung as if he wasn’t capable of being independent.

“The weather today is pretty nice too; can we go to the roof?” Jinyoung requested as Jaebum handed the other his medicine. “We can after I check up on others. Can you wait a bit?” the nurse asked. “Yes, of course.” Jinyoung replied with a soft smile of approval. Jaebum smiled back once again only to sigh inwardly at his actions.

He handed Mark a glass of water once had returned to the ward, gasping for air. Apparently, Youngjae was, in fact, waiting for him outside the hospital. Yugyeom and Bambam shared a look of mischief whilst Jooheon was rather shocked at the news. Jaebum returned to running his hourly checkups on the patients before returning to Jinyoung.

“Are you ready?” he asked.

“Yes.” Jinyoung replied, extending his hands towards the nurse. Jaebum grabbed and let it go to hand the other his stick.

“Can we leave this today too? I want to hold your hand.” Jinyoung requested a little hesitantly. “As long as you don’t mind walking with me as support.” Jaebum replied calmly, even though he could feel sweat forming in his palm. Jinyoung smiled wide and assured that he trusted the nurse. They made their way to the elevator slowly, greeting other patients along the way.

The elevator seemed to have arrived too fast. He was enjoying being packed into the elevator with Jinyoung’s back against his chest; even though he knew he shouldn’t be harboring such lewd emotions towards the other. The nurse opened the door to the roof and walked carefully. 

Jaebum was never scared of heights. It was nothing to fear but he couldn’t bring himself to let of Jinyoung’s hand even for a second, for the other to explore the area on his own. He followed Jinyoung’s steps as he felt the cool breeze blow his hair in the wind. His cleanly kept hair was now messy. Jaebum found it extremely childlike and innocent. 

“Why are you so hesitant so often?” Jinyoung asked as his eyes concentrated on something far in the distance. Perhaps something Jaebum couldn’t fathom seeing.

“What do you mean?” Jaebum asked being astounded at the sudden question.

“You always take two steps back when I take one step towards you, do you not like me?” Jinyoung asked.

“Of course I like you. You’re a part of my family.”

Jinyoung let out a long sigh and nodded. His facial expression had some sort of disappointment and his eyes were refusing to look at Jaebum, even though it was never towards his directions, Jaebum could always feel Jinyoung watching him.

“But, do you know what sort of “like” I am speaking of?” Jinyoung asked a couple moments later with a quiet tone, almost a faint whisper.

“Do you like me, then? What sort of “like” is that?” Jaebum hesitantly asked.

Jinyoung didn’t reply with words. He inched closer to the nurse as the wind blew harder. On instinct and being frightened, Jaebum gripped the other by his waist. Jinyoung had now turned towards him. He placed both of his hands on the other’s jaw. His fingers searched through his face, inspecting the features and studying them.

“The type of like where I get jealous when you smile at others, even though I can’t see. I want you to smile only at everything I do, the smile I can only imagine..” Jinyoung replied before inching his face towards the nurse’s. Jinyoung had fluttered his eyes close but Jaebum couldn’t do so. His eyes were wide his shock as he was suddenly greeted with Jinyoung’s presence everywhere near him. He was breathing on the other’s scent and feeling his warmth.

Jinyoung’s lips weren’t exactly on his against but a little on the top lip. Jinyoung slowly tilted his head and made his way to Jaebum’s lips properly. Neither pair of lips moved but remained still, just like the flow of time at the moment. Jinyoung had stopped breathing and he finally removed himself when he needed to breathe. 

“The sort of like where I want you to love me like I am the only one you can see.” he said. Jaebum remained static in shock as Jinyoung wrapped his arms around his neck and brought their foreheads together lightly.

“Do you like me the way I do?” he asked the nurse.

Jaebum remained silent as his eyes finally fluttered close. He felt Jinyoung’s breath clashing against his own. He gripped the other tightly on the waist and buries his face in his neck.

“I don’t like you, but, I do love you the way you want me to.” he replied.

Jaebum removed his face from the other’s neck and connected their lips once again. Jinyoung’s eyes were wide in shock but they had immediately fallen close as soon as Jaebum’s lips were on his own. For two men who were in their late twenties, the kiss was perhaps too awkward and too chaste. They could feel time running slower than ever and their lips quivering.

Jinyoung fisted his uniform and finally moved his lips. 

The kiss only lasted about ten seconds but it felt like they have achieved the entire world in that small span of time.

Jinyoung and Jaebum smiled at each other before bursting out into giggles.

Jinyoung’s eyes were perhaps dead according to the reports but right now his eyes were as lively as the summer skin. It was clear as fresh water and bright as the sun.

Jaebum felt warmth spreading on his chest as he saw Jinyoung blush. It was difficult to fathom that he was the reason behind the smile Jinyoung had plastered on his lips at the moment.

But there was nothing else he would like to think of right now, except that.

 

****************************

The producer was stood in front of the window. After months, he was finally able to see Umaru’s window on the other side. He couldn’t understand what had happened. Ever since the day before, the window, of the portal, to the other world had disappeared. He was glaring at the window since morning but he couldn’t see anything but Umaru’s ugly curtains and house plants.

“If you glare any longer you’ll lose your eyesight, more than it’s already gone.” Jinyoung commented with two cups of coffee in his hands. It was a leisure Sunday morning for the couple. “It’s so weird. How can it be gone?” he asked taking the coffee mug without looking at the other. His husband sighed as he had no clue even until that day what the other had been looking for through the window.

“What are you searching for even? I can’t help if I don’t know.” he sighed.

“You won’t believe me but, I could talk to myself from another universe through that window. It was like a portal to an alternative universe.” he replied without looking away from the window even still. Jinyoung looked at his husband as if he was spewing nonsense at early hours of the morning. He tried checking his temperature by bringing their foreheads together.

“I am telling the truth, will you listen to the whole story please?” Jaebum requested. Jinyoung knew that Jaebum was man who would never pull a joke to the point where one was to be concerned about his mental health. He sat down with the other on the floor of the study room. Jaebum began to explain about how he could talk to another “Im Jaebum” from another universe, where he was a nurse and in love with another existing Park Jinyoung.

He explained the whole setting of the world and the relationship of the two on that side. He even mentioned the details of their friends which had shocked Jinyoung further. He had excused himself for another cup of coffee because it was becoming difficult for him to believe the words of his husband. He took a deep breath and let it out. He repeated the words of his husband and asked for assurance of the details.

“Holy shit, you’re not kidding!” Jinyoung explained.

“I would never! Why would I do something so childish? Now I am worried about what has happened to the other Jaebum!” The other replied. Tension was arising between them as they thought of the possibility of what could have happened to the other. They both tried their best to come to a positive and rational explanation but nothing seemed rational at the moment.

“What if the motive for all of this is over?” Jinyoung asked.

“What do you mean?”

“You know, maybe the purpose of him meeting you was for him to realize small things about himself; about him realizing what was important to him and realizing his emotions. Now that it is over, there is no more need for the same people from two different worlds to be interacting with each other. Maybe he has finally faced his emotions and claimed Jinyoung his own. Since you two are overconfident and only believe in yourselves, maybe he needed to see himself, you, to understand himself better.” Jinyoung replied, feeling awkward for a second as mentioning his own name and face whilst talking about another person was quite weird.

“So...I’ll never get to know how it happened? How the other “me” did it?”

“Maybe it isn’t for you to know. Do you think if the other Jinyoung ever discovers the window I’ll be able to talk to him?” 

“I have no clue...is this real life?” Jaebum replied scowling in confusion.

“Define real.” Jinyoung giggled before leaning his head on the other’s shoulder.

“Point; only our time together at this moment is all that we have. Isn’t it weird that the purpose we live for isn’t even valid?” Jaebum asked.

“Stop there Mr. Philosophy, now is not the time for an existential crisis. It’s time for lunch and you’re helping me cook.” Jinyoung ordered placing his index finger on the other’s lips.

Jaebum pulled the other into his embraced and kissed his forehead. In that moment, he felt the urge to thank Jinyoung for being a part of his life; for being the human who he was. He could never thank the other enough for brightening his days and becoming a part of his rainy days. For tolerating him when he yelled for no reason and fighting back when he was being irrational.

He hoped that the other “him”, on the other side in another world, was feeling the same.

He hoped that he had built the courage to accept his true motions or that Jinyoung had cornered him until he was forced to confess.

Even if the circumstances were very different, it was indeed ironical how useless they both were without the presence of Park Jinyoung.

Even though Jaebum had saved his life, in truth, this whole time he was the one being saved by Park Jinyoung.


End file.
